2015 Life

Hey Guys,

Hmmm.. so yay~ It's been awhile since i update my blog. Sorry. *AS IF PEOPLE WILL READ MINE* The horse year has end and the goat year has begun. Quite a rough road for me last year and i really hope this year will be a great year where i spend my last senior year in high school making great memories with my fellow friends.

2015 begun with me celebrating my new year at my friend's house. Not much to describe because what we did was fall asleep. Just have a long talk after being apart for almost 7 month. This is because of our busy life after SPM. My friend Vicky went to Singapore to continue her studies in Engineering and Chris went to Taiwan for his Doctor course. And yeah, i still stuck in Malacca with my Form 6 Business History course. I wish i went for the course as a stewardess in Singapore Airline. Guess i have no luck in it.

Then it comes to my grandmother 1 year death anniversary. It actually was a moody day not only for me but for the whole family memebers. We realize that time has passed so fast in a blink of our eyes. Feels like she still here with us yesterday. Her memories and love still remain fresh with us. There is a words says that;

 * GOD GIVE ME THIS LIFE TO LIVE. WHEN I HAVE LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST, I WILL RETURN TO MY CREATOR * 

Then it all comes to February. My birth month. The most important month of my life. The month where a girl name EDNA ONG was born. This year i can admit that i spend my birthday time well. Surprise from my friend is enough for me. I am glad to have them around to experience this life story.

My birthday is simply but deep inside the simply moment many love and care been create. Thanks a lot to those who sincerely gave me those cute panda and spend their time to make this as a surprise. Appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

Guess this end my nonsense essay of my story of beginning of the 2015 year. Still long way to go and many more stories to experience, learn, feel and even get through. Just remember in everyone's life, there is an upside down moment where we can't predict when it gonna happen. All we can do is prepare our self so that we are strong enough to get through it.

Christmas Love

   Hey guys, I just wanna wish Merry Christmas to everyone around the world who celebrate Christmas. 

   Hope this Christmas bring you guys joyful and happy moment. 

December

Last month for My miserable life in 2014

2014 is a year where mostly people face a really terrible hurt. 

I really wish this year could end faster. Many pain i have suffer throughout the 11 month. I thought i will have a better ending but i guess the pain get deeper. I feel empty. All i love this whole time gone with the time. Everything remain as memories.

I begin my 2014 with a broken heart. My grandmother passed away in the beginning of the Horse year. I felt a terrible lost. I never felt this much pain before. Losing someone who are close to your heart, the one who in your memory since you are born. Nothing can really explain my feeling. 

This miserable life continue when i have to face two-face people at my working place. It really open my eyes about many kind of attitude in outside world. People who good in your eyes is actually stabbing you slowly at your back. What i can do that time was just walk away because i know i'm not strong enough to face it.

I got to continue my studies in Form 6. I was scared because i know the environment will be way more different than high school. I afraid that i'm not ready to make new memories with new friend. Nothing in life went well indeed. Even just a few days i entered, haters start to talk shit and gossip about me. I question myself what have i done wrong. But I haven't get the answer until today. 

Then it all came to this last month. Where i get to know what cause my relationship to break into pieces. I really can't believe that a friend that i once trusted, are the one who cause my relationship to break down. Being a spy and telling shit to people. "Is this call friend? I guess you just defame our friendship." 

Only God really knows what i felt now. Maybe i have done things wrong. All i can say is sorry. 2014 teach me to be strong in a hard situation where i will never once imagine i will be in. It also teach me not to trust anyone but yourself. But in this tough road that You tested me God, You met me with some friends who actually stick by my side in this rough time. I never complain about this challenge You gave me. I just hope 2015, You can make it a little easy for me to get through. I just miss my smile and my happy attitude.

"Don't trust your friends, Trust your close friend but trust yourself more than anything."

5 Things I Would Like To Tell To Guys Out There.

1) Drop your EGO!!!!
      
To be in relationship with a girl you need understand that girl always right even she is wrong. Even you both having an argument, let her win. If you think she is wrong then slowly explain to her when both side calm down. Please guys, doesn't mean you gave up in the fight you are coward. NO! I think it way more gentlemen. For God Sake, it doesn't make you dignity fall apart. DUUUHHH!! 

2) Be more understanding

Sorry to say that 77% guys actually don't understand their girlfriend. Dude! You guys should be the one who understand the most about their feelings, needs and etc. What kind of boyfriend are you if you don't?? Girls love when guys really understand her because she doesn't need to tell you what she feel and want every time. So boys, observe and understand them with your heart.

3) Treat her more than your friend

SERIOUSLY?? Nowadays girl have this problem. *ME TOO* Guys treat their friend more than their own girlfriend. Gosh! Then better don't have a girlfriend. Girls are not a toy for you to play. They are human too. So please if you decided to have a girlfriend than treat them like one. Put them above your friends and obviously protect her from your friends judgement. 

4) Calls and message

HHHMMM!!! This is common sense lo dude. You have a girlfriend of course your free time will be given to her. Even your busy time. Look, if you had an argument on phone, don't ever off the phone first. Let them do it. And if still the problem haven't settle keep calling so that it shows you care about her. Not calling back in an argument is a wrong and bad decision to make. It will only make the girl even mad. Seriously. Show them that you care about them by calling back, message back and of course a singe word SORRY can fix everything. Guys nowadays less use that words. 

5) Respect them

Everyone have their own privacy. Therefore we need to respect it. Girls nowadays don't like their boyfriend too control them such as what they do in school, who they mix with, who they chat, who is that person in the photo and etc. You are his boyfriend not her dad. Even a dad don't do that. Trust your girlfriend. give them their privacy. You can't change someone who you just enter their life. If you respect theirs, they will respect yours too. 

So here you go my 5 things i would like to say to guys out there specially to my "EX BOYFRIEND". Our life would be easy if you just think before you do or say something. So yay, dude! Get a life.....

My Love Story

My Bad Times

Well where do i start with this. It was my previous relationship that i suffer the most. My heart really hurt and that hurt can be feel till now. what do you expect from 1 year half relationship? Having a great moment? Having a beautiful life? Having a understanding partner? Well that is not me.

Throughout the 1 year half relationship i suffered, Cried a lot, break down and mostly been hurt the most. I really thought it will be a happy relationship where i can comfortably be in but it all just a dream. What i can say was that relationship sucks. I cried my tears out everyday before i go to bed. 

I felt like a was just a toy to him. Take me when ever he want, throw me when he has his friend. If we decide to go somewhere, for me if i didn't go it doesn't matter but if his friend didn't, no matter what he will convince them to go. 

I tried to fix it by pretending nothing happen but this continue to hurt me. i feel so stupid cried and suffer all this kind of things. I still young and i deserve a better guy to be with me. But i don't know why i still hanging around and carried the past and hoping someday it will change. All that it gave me was tears and broken heart.

The year is coming to end.

SEM 1 COMING TO THE END 

Exam for my sem 1 is around the corner. Honestly i'm not 100% prepare. I think not even 50%. Just 49% for the first paper. Hope my result is satisfied. After my exam i gonna freaking enjoy my life. So soon everything finish men.

Great to have my beloved god brother here to support me for my coming exam. I know i freaking irritating keep asking you to come back but i need you at my side to face this. I Love YOU BRO!!! XD

I gonna fight this war really hard. And i hope i will win it. I gonna chase my dream. I know next year i'm going to leave my country and continue my journey in people's country so i gonna do my best. Nothing going to stop me from being and getting the best for my future. 

Questions

I keep asking myself the same question nowadays..
I can't really find the right answer for that simple question.
What keep me from getting the answer? 
Did i really understand my own feeling?
What makes me stay waiting for all this time? 
How long can i be like this?
I can't do it anymore and i know it,
But what stop me from giving up this feeling?
So many question to be answer.
I wish you could solve it by coming in my world.
So hard for me to figure out by my own.
You gave hope but in the same time you leave it without telling me the truth.
You really crazily in love with what you doing right now,
I know. But you can't leave a puzzle without any clue.
I really don't know what should i feel and think now or even what is the right decision should i make. 
All i know is i have to take one step back for your and my own life. 
You with your career and me with my studies.