December

Last month for My miserable life in 2014

2014 is a year where mostly people face a really terrible hurt. 

I really wish this year could end faster. Many pain i have suffer throughout the 11 month. I thought i will have a better ending but i guess the pain get deeper. I feel empty. All i love this whole time gone with the time. Everything remain as memories.

I begin my 2014 with a broken heart. My grandmother passed away in the beginning of the Horse year. I felt a terrible lost. I never felt this much pain before. Losing someone who are close to your heart, the one who in your memory since you are born. Nothing can really explain my feeling. 

This miserable life continue when i have to face two-face people at my working place. It really open my eyes about many kind of attitude in outside world. People who good in your eyes is actually stabbing you slowly at your back. What i can do that time was just walk away because i know i'm not strong enough to face it.

I got to continue my studies in Form 6. I was scared because i know the environment will be way more different than high school. I afraid that i'm not ready to make new memories with new friend. Nothing in life went well indeed. Even just a few days i entered, haters start to talk shit and gossip about me. I question myself what have i done wrong. But I haven't get the answer until today. 

Then it all came to this last month. Where i get to know what cause my relationship to break into pieces. I really can't believe that a friend that i once trusted, are the one who cause my relationship to break down. Being a spy and telling shit to people. "Is this call friend? I guess you just defame our friendship." 

Only God really knows what i felt now. Maybe i have done things wrong. All i can say is sorry. 2014 teach me to be strong in a hard situation where i will never once imagine i will be in. It also teach me not to trust anyone but yourself. But in this tough road that You tested me God, You met me with some friends who actually stick by my side in this rough time. I never complain about this challenge You gave me. I just hope 2015, You can make it a little easy for me to get through. I just miss my smile and my happy attitude.

"Don't trust your friends, Trust your close friend but trust yourself more than anything."